“Common sense” is unfortunately not common, hence the need for a workshop on BDSM Play Party Etiquette hosted by Uber services in Sydney. This blog is a summery of that workshop.

There is a difference between etiquette and protocol. Etiquette is basic manners that are expected by all who attend a particular event and protocol is individual behaviours agreed upon by couples or a group.

Becoming involved in BDSM in any form does not give you carte blanche to forget the manners that you were (hopefully) taught as a child. If you intend to attend a BDSM play party in the near future, now is the time to polish them up and to show how well you listened.

Above all else remember that everything we do requires consent or else it becomes abuse.

Etiquette could be divided into RESPECT and COMMUNICATION.

RESPECT:

• Diverse group of people, diverse kinks: the tricksy notion that people are different, and have different ideas:
  • Your kink may not be my kink, and even within eg flogging there are many different styles and ways to flog (please don’t rave about the ONE TRUE PATH)
  • Celebrate creativity and diversity
  • Different reactions to play – quiet and inner focused vs. laughing and joking.  Consider the environment you are about to have your scene in
• Do not touch people or their belongings without permission
  • Personal toys laid out ready for use are not there for you to pick up and rummage through
  • Ask if you can help clean up toys afterwards if they’ve been used on you
• Do not interrupt a scene
  • If concerned about the safety of a scene refer to the dungeon monitor or party host
  • Do not try to talk to, or touch, the person who is receiving attention, even if you know them unless expressly invited by the Top
  • Do not stand near a scene and talk loudly (either about the scene or other things)
  • Stand back – the scene may be fascinating but do you really want to be hit by the back swing of a flogger?  Also … get out of my light… I want to be able to see what I’m doing
  • Don’t walk through a scene space
• Respect the idea that BDSM can be a risky activity: follow principles of SSC or RACK
  • Know your weapons (toys) – if you don’t know how to use them safely, ask for guidance and learn
• Respect your party hosts, their effort, equipment and location
  • Clean up after yourself including your play area
  • Check party rules and expectations
  • Don’t hog equipment
  • Don’t arrive out of it (or use drugs during the event)
  • Don’t bring drugs to a party – a police raid will dampen the night
• Dominants need not be Domineering
• Submissives are not Doormats, they are not submissive to the whole party

• Bring manners: be polite, friendly and respectful
• Discuss interests, previous experience, limits, wants, needs, health issues
  • Work out your limits (Tops have limits too!)
  • Hard limits are just that. No respectful player will decide that somebody’s hard limits need to be pushed.
• Discuss aftercare arrangements
• Safewords
• If unsure, ask but don’t interrupt to do so
• Be prepared to apologise if you stuff up – and most of us have at some stage:-)

By sub will

Being new to the BDSM scene I had made a few connections via online sites and had come across Mistress Tara in my search.  After reviewing her website and having a phone conversation I made the decision to meet with her and experience what a pro Domme has to offer.  We set up a time to meet and I was given instructions of where to find her.

Upon arrival, I was greeted at the door by an attractive blond lady, who even before she introduced herself, I immediately recognised from photos on Mistress Tara’s website as her 24/7 slavegirl ‘M’.  She led me up some stairs, warning me to be careful as my eyes adjusted to the increasingly dimming light as we ascended, and then into a chamber which housed a number of ominous pieces of equipment, including a St Andrews cross, a medieval rack and a stand containing a multitude of paddles, floggers, clamps and other devices, many unknown to me but, surely one could assume, intended to inflict some kind of malice on their unsuspecting victims…of which I then realised I had now gone too far to ever escape being her next…

I was offered a seat and told by M that the Mistress would be with me shortly.  As I was left for a moment to contemplate what proportion of pain or pleasure was to be my fate that afternoon, my concentration was broken when I noticed a dark, silhouette figure moving down the long hallway to which my gaze was fixed.  I could first make out the beautiful hour glass shape of a corseted figure and then I was slightly taken aback by her imposing height (assisted by a pair of impressive knee high, high platform leather boots) – a height that would soon make my 6 feet stature seem quite insignificant.

As she stepped from the darkness of the hall into the relatively less dark of the dimly lit room, I first saw her in all her glory and was immediately struck by her attractiveness, far more than her website pictures had done justice, and was somewhat rendered speechless, an occurrence that I have not experienced often in the outside world, but one that did not go unnoticed by the Mistress who made comment about my dumbstruck state.

After a brief reassuring chat and given the opportunity to ask any questions, I was told to go to the shower and that when I returned I would be her property. When I went to the shower I realised I did have a few more questions…was I suppose to wear anything when I came back? …was I able to interact in a certain way? …but realised it was probably too late at that point – I didn’t dare emerge from the bathroom and not follow my last instructions which were to come out and get on all fours on the floor before the Mistress.

Once in that position I waited for what seemed like minutes, feeling her gaze upon me, shivering in anticipation of the unknown that was to come.  Eventually, she spoke to tell me that I was not in the proper slave position and that I needed learn how to properly present before a Mistress when on all fours – I was then shown the error of my way.  Following which time, I was ordered to crawl to her seat and present myself to receive leather collars around my neck, wrists and ankles.  These were immediately then put to use as I was clamped spread eagled to a standing St Andrews cross, then blindfolded just in case my helplessness and vulnerability were not already complete.

As various unseen torture devices were then applied to my cock, balls and nipples, I started to feel the sting and burn of an expert Mistress practising her art, but these things seemed mild in comparison with the shivers that Mistress Tara’s sadistic laugh sent down my spine as she turned the screws on her devices….I made the mistake of letting out an unconscious nervous laugh in response at one point..a mistake I would not make again as I could see her wrath turn on me even through blindfolded eyes.

I also made the mistake of thinking I might be receiving some compassion from my Mistress at one point when she asked which of my nipple clamps or ball clamps were tighter – I was soon set straight though when I realised my answer was only a further direction as to which ones needed to be tightened more!  The only respite from continued clamping came when I figured out by trial and error that the answer that all balls and nipples hurt equally as much was enough to turn her attention elsewhere.  …elsewhere, like the scrape of sharp objects dragging over my skin, the flick of her fingers or smack of her hand on my aching balls….the only break in my concentration coming intermittently by the feeling of warmth and excitement of her breath or body heat inches away from my face, neck or body.

After some time, the devices were removed and I was released from my shackled position, only to have a leash attached to my collar then led, still blindfolded, to another room where I was positioned head down and ass up to await my next training.  I heard Mistress Tara call down the stairs to M to come and join us.  On her arrival, and after them both taunting me on the three day hair re-growth on my balls and Mistress Tara instructing me to ensure they were fully and freshly shaved whenever she would see them again, M was instructed to start administering a spanking punishment to my ass cheeks.  At some point she was instructed to stop and I was asked how many strokes I had received.  Unfortunately I had not had the foresight to keep a count as I was too busy wincing from M’s beating.  As the spanking continued I made sure I kept a good count in my head from that point.  At 41 strokes I was asked the current count and certainly got nervous when M’s count differed from mine, but I knew my ass would eagerly take more of what was on offer.

It wasn’t to be though as I was grabbed by my leash and led back to the first room, where my blindfold was removed – not that I got to see much as I was immediately ordered face up onto the rack, where my wrists and ankles were attached just before I heard the tell tale cracking of the winch locks as Mistress Tara turned the rack’s handle, …crack…crack…crack..until I felt the tugging and stretching as the locks reached my bodily limits.

There I was subjected to other physical and psychological torments, often still enhanced by the Mistress’s verbal taunts, laughs and comments.  To one comment she made, in reference to why my dick was not hard at that point in time, I responded with a question so as to clarify if that was permitted and whether what she was doing was for my pleasure or for hers to which she immediately retorted that “if I wanted to do something for your pleasure I would have M come in here and sit on your face, wouldn’t I?”  …an intriguing question indeed and the mere contemplation of which has given me an instant hard-on many times since that first meeting!

Alas, I was eventually released from the rack and given the opportunity to kiss and worship at those amazing leather boots before my shackles were removed and I was ordered to crawl back to the showers and told to be back for a debrief…and reminded that Mistress Tara is not a patient woman so not to keep her waiting.

The debrief was a great opportunity to chat with the Mistress and to recap the highlights of the session.  For me, but I can understand if not for all, the debrief was a really useful time to connect with Mistress Tara at another level and ultimately greatly enhanced the overall experience as I came to admire and respect her straight talking and inclusive approach to what she does, and I was left with no doubts as to why she is heralded both within the BDSM community and recognised and acknowledged from outside it, as being one of Australia’s leading and best professional Dommes.

We then went to another room to put on stockings for me but I ripped one, but with her guidance I managed to put on the other one. Proof women are far more delicate and superior to men.

What followed was a session of foot worship and toe sucking and more CBT. I didn’t realize how much just flicking your fingers to my balls would hurt as much. But the strange thing was I wanted to suffer for my Mistress even though I was screaming out in pain. I hope my yells of pain and agony amused her.

Also her feet felt, tasted and smelled really good, I love the way her soles tasted and I loved having all of her toes in my mouth. I can still remember how wonderful her feet smelled and tasted.

With slavegirl M’s help she trampled me, I never thought I could take a the weight of a fully grown woman in high heels on me but I did and it felt amazing looking at her above me like that  and It was great to experience my true place which Ais under women’s feet.  The sharp pain of her heel hurt but I still wanted to suffer for her and see her tower over me like a true Goddess.

Then slavegirl M sat on my face as I licked her ass out, this was another first for me and I loved it. I also enjoyed having her warm piss soak my body. I always wanted a woman to go to the toilet on me and it felt even better then I imagined.

But all good things come to an end and to end a perfect session I was allowed to wank over slavegirl M’s feet. I didn’t cum at first because I was kneeling and my knees were shaking but after lying down and relaxing and after Mistress Tara put her sexy high heeled feet on my face I was able to cum over slavegirl M’s feet and of course I had to clean it off which I gladly did.

Thankyou Mistress Tara and slavegirl M for a wonderful time. You made my great trip in Sydney even better and now I know I like watersports and trampling (High heeled and bare foot)

Again another fabulous session with You. You have the knack of creating the right circumstances for total enjoyment.

While, as I said at the time, CBT and impact play are my first love, being humiliated as a total little slut in front of You and m was just great. Of course, wanting to be humiliated, looking forward to it and then suffering the reality of it are totally different. You created a magnificent scene. I really felt like a totally humiliated little slut. Your sniffing me and then ordering me back to the bathroom and You supervising me washing my smelly arse in front of You including getting me to spread my arse cheeks wide and ensuring I got my finger right up my arse was totally embarrasing. But then putting makeup and a wig on me and having me on my back with legs spread while You finger fucked my arse and m tried to improve my cock sucking skills by fucking my mouth with a dildo – well that was just total embarrassment and humiliation.

It didn’t get any less embarrassing or humiliating when You had me get on all fours and then used the dildo I had been sucking to ram up my arse and loosen me up all the time threatening me with Your monster black dildo without lube if I didn’t stop moaning and loosen my arse to receive more and more of the dildo. I think I made some progress, but I certainly need more sessions with You until I can be worthy of You and take all Your dildoes without any groaning.

If I thought I had been humiliated enough well You didn’t stop there. Making me jerk off in front of You and m for someone already feeling totally ashamed and ridiculous was just the icing on the cake. The fact that I failed You is something that I feel totally ashamed humiliated and embarrassed by. It was just lucky that You had some saved cum from another session. That was the ultimate in humiliation. Being made to lick up every drop of another man’s cum in front of You and m – well I think You can guess how inadequate I feel in front of You.

To end up with You filming m cleaning up my face to get the makeup off by her pissing what seemed like gallons of piss all over my face and into my mouth was just the perfect end to a perfect session.

Not only do You get more beautiful each day, Mistress, Your sessions also just keep getting better and better. You are certainly simply the best Mistress ever.

Yours lovingly

punycunt xxxxxxxxx

Mistress Tara

Sensually and Spiritually Sadistic Dominatrix
www.MistressTara.com.au
Mobile: +61 (0) 403 370 446
Mistress Tara's wish-list

It took our new foot slave C quite some time to take my sneakers off with his teeth. I could see him licking the laces of my slight grubby white ASICs and trying not to stroke his cock while he was doing so.

Mistress Tara is not amused.  ”Stop playing with yourself until” she scolds firmly “I tell you to’.

“I’m sorry Mistress” he mumbles quietly as I take pity on him and ease off one trainer with my other, bare foot.   The shoe is moist on the inside with sweat and C sticks his nose inside the shoe and then between my toes.  I tell him that my feet need to be properly kissed and cleaned with his tongue and he licks away the sweat between my toes like an overenthusiastic puppy dog. At one point C has nearly all of my foot filling up his mouth, licking my instep without gagging. Very impressive indeed. Since I love having my toes caressed, kissed nibbled and licked this doesn’t bother me in the least.  Mistress Tara is not keen on teeth being used on her delicate toes but does enjoy sitting back and relaxing while a willing foot fetishist massages and savours the scent of her pretty feet.
At Mistress Tara’s command C then assumes a crouched position on all fours with his bottom high in the air.   As Mistress Tara makes herself comfortable on C wearing a black micro mini skirt and corset, I place my feet and toes over his mouth and nose. He cannot breathe without the warm salt and vinegar delicious scent of my feet.

We have a further treat/torment in store for him.  Mistress Tara loves to love to crush porridge between her toes and having a willing foot slave massage the goo-ey mess into her feet and lick it off.  Adding the fish sauce for extra pungency turned out to be a rather unpleasant experience for the poor boy but he managed to keep his nausea at bay.  Being such a good boy he was rewarded by being allowed to lie on his back with my bare feet stroking his face and neck while Mistress Tara trampled on his belly and chest.

By this time I could see that C had disappeared into a happy place – he was sucking away on my shoes like a contented baby while Mistress Tara alternatively teased and squashed his balls and hardening cock with her toes and heels.

To transport him even further, I sit astride his helpless supine body,  with my round leather clad bottom over his mouth and nose.  ”Now you can play with yourself C” orders Mistress Tara.  Like a good boy he does exactly what he is told. He even waits for the command to come and when he does the force of it  appears to be well beyond his control. He makes a bit of a mess unfortunately. There is semen all over the place which he then has to lick off my toes.

For a first time foot slave C made both Mistress Tara and I very happy indeed.

We love foot fetishists

When I say yes the excitement is almost fever pitch, but the reality of the cost quite often deflates the enthusiasm faster than an erection after an orgasm.

So I have arranged a couple of great offers for the remainder of May and the month of June as follows:

• A one hour session with myself & a Mistress friend – $600
• A one hour session with myself & my slavegirl M – $550
• A one our session with myself and my apprentice Mistress Silk – $450

What’s Possible?

A full range of BDSM services and discipline scenes are possible with these ladies and myself, including my favourites, CBT, CP, foot worship, caning, needle play et al, and also golden shower and anal play.

Slavegirl M is also available for body worship as a submissive.

Availability!

These double sessions are strictly limited to specific days as follows:

• Sessions with my Mistress friend and I are only possible on Wednesday and Thursday.
• Sessions with my slavegirl M and I are only possible on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday
• My apprentice, Mistress Silk, will only be available again after 1^st July when she returns from overseas. Availability of sessions with Mistress Silk is strictly limited for now to Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays.

To make an appointment call me, or for more information call or email me at mistress@mistresstara.com.au

I look forward to playing soon.

Take, for example, the following conversation I had with a sub with a UK phone number.

He tried to reach me, so I sms’d him back telling him to call me the next morning between 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. local Sydney time. He called me a few hours later which was just before midnight.

It turned out he was still in the UK and clearly did not understand the time difference. He apologised profusely and instead of hanging up and calling back in the morning as instructed, he happily went on about how he wanted to be my personal slave and asked me if I am interested in that. I told him again to call me back the next morning after 9 a.m.; I was tired and was not interested in this type of conversation at that time.

So he called again at ….. 8.15 the next morning….. the conversation went like this ….

Wannabe slave: “I want to be your personal slave”

He said he had seen my website and loved it and he wanted to serve me as my personal slave.

Wannabe slave: “Are you interested?”

Mistress Tara Sydney: “How can I be interested if I do not even know you?”

I had not even finished my sentence and …

Wannabe slave: “I will tell you all about me.”

Mistress Tara thinks to herself: ‘Yes, at 8.15 in the morning that is exactly what I am interested in.’

Mistress Tara Sydney: “No, you book yourself a flight to Sydney and come for a couple of sessions and that is how we get to know each other. If we have a connection and I like you, we can see what else is possible. “

Wannabe slave: “O” ….. pause …..  “So I come to Sydney and can I see you several times then?”

Mistress Tara Sydney: “If you book your flight for say a month or two, we can have multiple sessions”

Wannabe slave: “OK then. Thank you”

…. and with that he was about to hang up.

Mistress Tara Sydney: “Wait a sec” …. “Can I expect you some time soon for a session or is this it?”

Wannabe slave: “No, no! I will look into booking a flight”….. pregnant pause …. “Do I have to pay for those sessions?”

Mistress Tara Sydney: “Yes, I am a professional Mistress in Sydney. My website which you loved so much mentions that pretty clearly.”

Wannabe slave: “O” ….. again

….. and then he hangs up never to be heard from again! What a surprise!

This type of phone call is not a one off. In various degrees and forms I receive them on a weekly basis. I can’t help but wonder what these men are thinking.

I run a business, this is how I make a living. The fact I am also a lifestyle Domme seems to make a lot of men think I will play with them for free. After all, you love what you do, don’t you?

It is so disrespectful to even think it, let alone ask me. Do you go to the bakery and ask for a free cake because the baker loves baking and you really love to eat the cake??

slave H – South Australia
Extreme Chastity Slave to Mistress Tara – Sydney

I have taken off the strap on the lock and balls, I said I would give it a couple of days,and its a bit of a relief. I have given myself a good clean and feels great after that, and it’s still looking good.

slave H – South Australia
Extreme Chastity Slave to Mistress Tara – Sydney